breathworkbygenevieve | Mar 14, 2021 | 4 min read
Updated: May 11
A couple of years ago, I was upset with my daughter. I wish I could remember the specifics because I know if I could, I would be able to mine the event for some greater insight into my own limiting beliefs, but I can’t. This story is not about the trigger, however, but the unbelievably clear message that came from it all.
I had yelled at my daughter that day, feeling out of control of my emotions, and she was hurt, feeling blamed, or shamed. She was not wrong I am sure, and what I do remember is feeling so badly that I tried very hard the rest of the day to make up for it. I apologized, admitted my wrong-doing, and tried to engage her to express her feelings. She was really quite shut down to me, so I decided I would just love her. I would love her back into happiness, back into alignment. I would love her so much that there would be no doubt that I was sorry.
At the end of the day, I was lying in bed with her and tried to give her a hug. Not being an overly affectionate child already and still feeling hurt, she turned her back to me. I felt awful. I asked her, “Sweetheart, do you know how much I love you? Can you feel my love for you?”
And her response was one of the wisest I have ever heard. “Mom, how can I feel your love? It’s YOUR love.”
My jaw dropped. “Oh my gosh, Baby, that is so wise! You are right!” And in that moment, she completely softened, laughing at my silly question.
This was Truth. She could not feel my love. She could only feel HER love. And no matter how much I loved her until she moved back into alignment with love herself, she would not feel love. The only love she will ever feel is HER love.
I left her room and went to my own to process this, as it was clearly a perspective I had never truly grasped, and I began to cry. The resistance was amazing to watch. I knew I shouldn’t be sad about it, but there was a part of me that desperately wanted it to work the other way. I wanted to believe that I could love my children back into happiness. That I could love my husband into changing. That I could have loved my brother into sobriety. That my love could be so powerful that it would supersede the will of a person who was choosing to explore another vibration. I wanted it to be that way! That would make me feel powerful!
But then I realized, “Oh my God! If my daughter could not feel my love but only her own, then I could not feel ANYONE ELSE’S love but MY OWN! Wow.”
I instantly thought back to all the years I had spent trying to feel loved by other people! Looking for someone to love me, to rescue me from self-loathing and despair. Thinking I could GET love from others! Thinking I could FEEL love from others! It all made perfect sense now! The only love I will EVER feel is my own. If I am not aligned with love at any moment, I cannot feel anyone else’s love. If I am not actively loving, I cannot feel love. It doesn’t matter how much my mother, father, brother, best friend, husband, children, ANYONE, loves me, I will NOT feel it unless I am aligned with love. No one but myself could possibly save me.
I suddenly felt more empowered than I ever had in my entire life. I realized I never had to seek for love again (though I would in a thousand ways). I never had to behave in any way to try to get someone’s love (again…it’s a practice). I simply had to LOVE in order to feel LOVE. Wow!
This is how the Law of Attraction works. I align with Love; I feel love, and love is reflected back to me. If someone is aligned with love, and I am as well, we seem to feel each other’s love, but in reality we are both just groovin’ on our own love together, in harmony, seeing the reflection of our love in the other person.
You see, this is a FEELING reality. We are really only ever feeling something. What are we feeling? If we are feeling judgmental, discontented, angry, disappointed, or ashamed, we are often compelled to go looking outside of ourselves for the love we want to feel, the acceptance. However, the answer is always, always “an inside job”, as another Genevieve I know likes to say.
You can thank these negative feelings for showing you that you are holding a person or a moment in judgment, and in many (ehem...all) cases, it is yourself. Feel those emotions; go deeply into the grief of believing you or anyone else is less than perfect, and let it show you the terror of that thought. It’s scary as fuck sometimes, but you can love these feelings for showing you that you are in despair because, ultimately, you believe you are unworthy! Then remember, you ARE love; you cannot be unworthy of what you are. Now you are on your way to feeling your love.
Thank and love the emotions for reminding you that you are love, and just hold your attention there, in your heart, and let the vibration grow, warming and lightening your whole being…align with the highest love you can possibly feel. Do this every time you forget and fall into despair or fear of any kind.
Align, realign, realign; it doesn’t matter how much you have to practice, just practice. Love, and let the world bring you the events that match that vibration. It will be a journey far more fun than anything you could have imagined from your previous perspective and far more empowering.
New Hope, Pennsylvania, USA